ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL

Well, not quite. But high school has been on my mind as of late. My 10 year reunion is approaching and I'm conflicted as to whether I should attend. I didn't technically graduate, as I dropped out in the beginning of my junior year, so I'm not sure that I'm actually welcome [which is a long and sordid story for another time].

My friends and I have talked about going, clowning all the people there, getting drunk, and acting like fools. But in real life, high school reunions are kind of like everything else--boring. When I imagine a reunion, I think about an event held in the gymnasium, not some pseudo-hip downtown restaurant. I picture my friends and I walking the halls, reminiscing, drinking 40's wrapped in brown paper bags, breaking into lockers, raising hell.

Who the fuck wants to pay $75 a dinner to hang out with people you didn't like 10 years ago? You stay in contact with the people you like and excommunicate the rest. I mean, seriously, what are we going to do, "network" with each other, exchange business cards, share pictures of our children, muscle cars, time shares, and above-ground pools? Fuck off.

People just want to talk in canned, adult language: "Oh, you really turned out well," "no kids yet?" or maybe "Wow, somebody packed on the pounds," "my kids are little monsters," or "Robert just got promoted to sales manager." I'm bored just thinking about it.

Our reunion even has its own website, what high-tech bitches we've become.

Last week, while visiting with my nephews, I looked through my sister-in-law's yearbooks (we graduated together). We all laughed at the peoples' haircuts, the ridiculous teams and clubs (rifle team?), and all the crazy-looking people we went to school with. But there was also an overwhelming sadness in those pictures. Revisiting that time period, looking at the faces of people I had all but forgotten, tarnished the golden nostalgia I sometimes assign to that time in my life. You want memories to remain fluffy and bouyant, full-of-fire. However, to view things in such a way, you need to lie to yourself, just a little bit. At least I do.