Spell Check Is For Pussies

Ouch. Two sick days later and things still hurt. My bones ache and my throat feels like minced meat. But, oh well, duty calls. I must trudge forward and fight the good fight, advancing the knowledge of automotive, aerospace, and off-highway engineers the world over!


Pictured: Work from the incredible Cody Hudson of Struggle Inc.

Sorry, I got kinda out of hand there. Mainly, I think I was pepping myself up, trying to place far more importance on my job than there really is.

You would think that after being absent for two days somebody in Cubesville might at least say: "How are you feeling?" or "Feeling any better?" or at least "Where the fuck where you?" Well, actually, the latter was kinda said to me... in a more roundabout way. It was guised in subtle, passive-aggressive emails: "I need the copy for [so and so's] article ASAP" or "From now on, can you make sure to correct all spelling errors before distributing copy among the editors?" Nice, very nice. I love the term ASAP, don't you?

Now you would think that the freelancers who submit copy to our prestigious and beautifully-designed magazines (I'm joking...the mags look like they were ganked straight from a Design 101 handbook... yeah! let's use tons of Photoshop filters and pretend we're artists) would at least have the brain power to hit Spell-Check in Word before submitting. Or better yet, when quoting somebody in their story, to make certain they have the correct spelling of said person's last name. But no, that's why I'm here, to clean up loose ends for people who make far more money than I do. But at least the writing is top notch, right? Nice try friend, but no. I agree, working with skilled wordsmiths would at least be inspiring. But, this is technical writing: the inspired need not apply.

Now that I'm foaming at the mouth and ready to stand atop my cube like Norma Ray, fist pumped in the air, I best cool down.

There is a bright side to all this. We're going out to lunch today. Yep, you guessed it. We're eating at a rib place called Smokey Bones.

Carnivores: 10, 547 pts.

Tree-huggin-animal-lovin-fags-but-you-eat-fish-right-vegetarians: 0

Over and outski.

Matthew "Commandante" Newton