Welcome To The Clusterfuck

Monday... oh how it toys with my emotions. Today started off extra special. We had a last-minute staff meeting here at the J-O-B, first thing in the morning mind you. An hour later, and extremely anxious-feeling, I returned to my desk... cubesville some may call it. Here, I found myself staring at my computer screen, contemplating the


Pictured: Kissing coppers by the infamous Banksy.

most suitable way to escape the premises without being seen and without anybody noticing that I am missing. If I were smart and prepared, I would have purchased a blow-up doll and dressed it like myself, leaving it to sit in my seat while I motored away in my car, laughing like a rabid jackyl. However, I am ill-prepared as usual. So I will sit here for the remainder of the afternoon attempting to sharpen my focus just enough so that I might get some work done.

On the good side, this past weekend was fucking beautiful. I got to work in the yard on Friday... a task I was annoyed with at the time (due to my normal end-of-week exhaustion) but one for which I reaped the benefits on Saturday and Sunday (as we spent alot of time outside). Also... I hung up our hammock in the backyard, which was exciting. It's a spot I'm certain to waste countless hours in as I drift in and out of sleep beneath the warm rays of the sun.

And, last but not least, I recently threw my hat back into the freelance writing circle (not that it wasn't there before, I just slowed down for a bit as I edited and released Young & Reckless). So I've got a slew of exciting new projects I'm working on -- some for new mags, others for old pals, etcetera. An essay that I'm really excited about is for a new mag called Lemon. It's a piece about an imaginary friend, named Billy Bommy, that I had when I was a kid. Billy Bommy was more a tool I used to entertain family members and advance my own pre-kindergaten agenda than a full-fledge imaginary friend I suppose. But, either way, I'm excited to dig through that subject matter.

Lastly, I've been brainstorming and getting organized for two big personal writing projects: 1.) the followup to Young & Reckless... a book titled Fame & Misfortune that will be bigger, better, and more balls-to-the-wall than its predecessor Young & Reckless, and 2.) My own book, a collection of humorous, heartbreaking, and reckless essays about a myriad, or should I say clusterfuck, of real-life experiences I've had. So friends and family beware, the gloves are off and I'm bringin' you all down with me, Jose Canseco style... ha, ha, ha, ha... er, just jokin'. it will be fine, really.