<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d12124924\x26blogName\x3dthe+beautiful+destruction%E2%84%A2\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://beautifuldestruction.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://beautifuldestruction.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-4835073954431996073', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>



the beautiful destruction

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

OH, THE HORROR


Pictured: Portrait of a working man pushed to his limits, Milton Waddams.

For months I've been teetering, tiptoeing, lightly skirting the fray of full blown workplace insanity. Oh, it would be so easy to have a meltdown, drop to my knees and begin screaming and shaking, spitting expletives from my froth-covered lips while simultaneously stapling paper and plant leaves to my legs. Could I get disability for something like this? How wonderful that would be. Though I'm sure my employer could find a way around that by propping me back up in my terribly uncomfortable chair, strapping me in and placing my heavy, seizure-frozen fingers on the crumb-covered keyboard. Oh, the horror!

Sure, I've unloaded my workplace frustrations on this blog before, but something feels different now. I feel more anxious, more antsy, more ready to escape than ever. Balancing life, work, family, and the unrelenting pursuit of my dreams has taken its toll these past couple months. I feel like I'm frozen where I sit, doomed to toil away at a totally fucked desk job for the rest of my years, no matter how hard I try -- and you must believe, I try so very hard to escape.

"I feel like I'm frozen where I sit, doomed to toil away at a totally fucked desk job for the rest of my years."


"Why vent now?" you may be wondering, "you've been shitting away your life at a plethora of desk jobs since you graduated college." Thanks for the reminder, but you see, I had this dream two nights ago that really cracked open my skull and left a large pile of rotten, radioactive shit. The only reason this dream was striking was 1.) I remembered it; I never remember my dreams. And 2.) I was extremely lucid in this moment, seeing my future, having opportunity placed before me in a twilight world, only to have it hastily snatched away as my eyelids popped open to find my alarm clock hissing at me, telling me to, "Wake the fuck up, it was only a dream dummy."

"I had this dream two nights ago that really cracked open my skull and left a large pile of rotten, radioactive shit."



In this dream, Michelle had a rich and eccentric uncle who was very excited about us (which in real life she does, but he's got no cash). However, in this dream, the role of Michelle's uncle was played by Martin Landeau. He was not himself though, rather, he was playing the role of antiquated Hollywood producer Bob Ryan, his role on the HBO series Entourage. As with most of the dreams I remember, only about five minutes were captured in my useless noggin. In this instance, Michelle's uncle drives us to an empty storefront on Forbes Avenue in Squirrel Hill. He invites us to come inside. Michelle and I are both wondering what the hell is going on, because her uncle is usually goofy, and we figure we're witnessing some sort of pyramid scheme or hustle unraveling before our eyes.


Pictured: Martin Landau (far right) as Hollywood producer Bob Ryan.

Once inside, we're caught up in the beauty of the space: two levels; hardwood floors; great lighting; tons of character; and spacious as fuck. As I'm walking around, taking the place in, Michelle's uncle (played by Martin Landau, remember) turns to us and says, "It's yours, here are the keys." And, as if that isn't reason enough for celebration, he then adds, "I just bought the whole building. I figured you could rent it out if your little idea doesn't work out."

The "little idea" that Michelle's uncle, or at least the wealthy bizarro version of her uncle, refers to in the dream, is a grand project I've had in mind for years: to open up a shop/gallery/workspace where I could centralize all my creative endeavors -- and do it as a fucking full time affair to boot.

Quickly, the sleep wore off as my alarm clock chirped its annoying chirp, and as I realized it was all a dream, I felt crushingly disappointed. It felt so absolutely real, I was actually holding the keys to the space in my fucking hand. But then, as quickly as it was handed to me, it all just evaporated. The disconnect between my waking and sleeping worlds is sometimes so very distant. But yesterday morning, these two very separate worlds of my concious and unconscious mind were co-existing in the same place. And they left that "place" a fucking mess.

21 Comments:

At 7:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there would you mind stating which blog platform you're using? I'm going
to start my own blog in the near future but I'm having a difficult time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I'm looking for
something unique. P.S Sorry for getting off-topic but I
had to ask!

Also visit my web site - how to Build cccam server on Ubuntu

 
At 10:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could certainly see your enthusiasm within the article you write.
The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid
to mention how they believe. At all times go after your heart.


Feel free to visit my webpage :: sky tv half price Nz

 
At 10:53 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

mont blanc
michael kors outlet sale
moncler coats
canada goose outlet
rolex watches
uggs outlet
nfl jerseys wholesale
ed hardy outlet
louis vuitton outlet store
coach outlet
michael kors handbags,michael kors outlet,michael kors outlet online,michael kors,kors outlet,michael kors outlet online sale,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors purses,michaelkors.com,michael kors bags,michael kors shoes,michaelkors,cheap michael kors
ray ban sunglasses
nike air huarache,nike huarache,nike huarache sneakers,nike huarache shoes
winter jackets outlet
polo ralph lauren
lebron james shoes,lebron 12,lebron 12 shoes,lebron sneakers,lebron iv,lebron 11,lebron 10
nike air foamposite one,foamposite,foamposites,foamposite release 2015,foamposite sneakers,foamposites for sale,foamposite gold
michael kors uk outlet
nike running shoes
canada goose jackets
cheap ugg boots
cyber monday
oakley
oakley sunglasses
mlb jerseys wholesale
cheng1209

 
At 1:41 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

michael kors canada
cheap nba jerseys
louis vuitton handbags outlet
toms outlet
polo ralph lauren
michael kors outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
rolex watches for sale
moncler jackets
cheap ugg boots
rolex watches,rolex watches,swiss watches,watches for men,watches for women,omega watches,replica watches,rolex watches for sale,rolex replica,rolex watch,cartier watches,rolex submariner,fake rolex,rolex replica watches,replica rolex
michael kors uk
mulberry outlet
michael kors outlet uk
nike outlet store
mulberry handbags sale
michael kors outlet
phone cases
cheap ray ban sunglasses
tiffany jewelry
0112minko

 
At 1:53 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

camisetas futbol baratas
coach handbags outlet
lebron shoes
tory burch sale
air max 90
fred perry polo shirts
uggs outlet
ugg boots
coach outlet store
lacoste shirts
michael kors outlet online
michael kors factory store
ferragamo outlet
tiffany and co
canada goose jackets
tods outlet
vans shoes
chanel outlet store
chanel handbags outlet
0112minko

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger smithendy@gmail.com said...

I like all your posts! You are my favourite blogger. I show you this writing a outline for a paper to make you content once more perfect, if it couls be more perfect :)

 
At 5:44 AM, Anonymous Pewpewman said...

Nếu vợ chồng đang mắc phải chứng bệnh vô sinh nam khó nói thì nên xem ngay thông tin để chữa trị tránh khỏi sự tan vỡ hạnh phúc gia đình xem thêm...

 
At 6:25 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

شركة تنظيف فلل بالرياض
شركة تنظيف واجهات بالرياض
شركة تنظيف موكيت بالرياض
شركة تنظيف خزانات بالرياض
عندما تستعين بشركة متخصصة في عمل التنظيف الخاصة عندما تكون الشركة لها سمعة طيبة في مجال التنظيف ستحصل على منزل براق وأرضيات و حوائط نظيفة تماما مع الحفاظ على ألوانها من مواد التنظيف لنظافة شيئا ضروريا وخاصة عند تواجد اطفال صغار يخشي عليهم من الاتربة

 
At 2:29 PM, Blogger ركن كلين said...

شركة تنظيف كنب بالرياض
شركة تنظيف موكيت بالرياض
شركة تنظيف فلل بالرياض
شركة تنظيف واجهات بالرياض
شركة تنظيف ستائربالرياض
ارخص شركة تنظيف منازل بالرياض

 
At 4:18 AM, Anonymous Pengobatan Jantung Bengkak said...

Take something positive from this writing. thank you

Cara mengobati Fistula Ani
Cara Mengatasi Demensia
Cara Mengobati Lepra

 
At 12:19 AM, Blogger green said...

Thanks for the information presented on your website
Very in waiting for other information

obat hipertiroid traidisional

 
At 3:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the article, hopefully the article you give can be useful.

OBAT WASIR 100% ALAMI TANPA OPERASI
Cara Mengobati Asam Urat Secara Alami Dan Aman
Ramuan Obat Alami Untuk Penderita Komplikasi
Obat Jantung Koroner Alami Dan Aman

 
At 4:13 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

A neat and useful post
Pengobatan Tradisional Herpes Kulit
Cara Menyembuhkan Demam Tifus
Obat Gatal Alergi Eksim

 
At 5:08 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

the articles that you make are so hypnotic to the readers, that they want to keep repeating them several times. success continues to make the article. we wait for the next article
Cara Cepat Mengatasi Insomnia Secara Alami
Obat Darah Tinggi Alami Terbaik
Apakah Buah Salak Untuk Penderita Diabetes Aman?
Cara Alami Mengobati Keputihan
Diet Sehat Untuk Penderita Kanker Usus

 
At 5:09 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Thanks for the information. I really like it and I'm waiting for his latest article
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Hepatitis Secara Tradisional
Manfaat Buah Jambu Merah Bagi Penderita Hepatitis
Jenis-Jenis Hepatitis Yang Umum Terjadi
Pantangan Makanan Untuk Penderita Hepatitis
Manfaat Buah Plum Untuk Menurunkan Kadar Kolesterol
Manfaat Ketumbar Bagi Kesehatan Tubuh
Menu Sarapan Sehat di Pagi Hari
Menu Makanan Penurun Kolesterol Secara Cepat
Ketahuilah Ini Buah Penurun Kolesterol Secara Cepat

 
At 9:49 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

The latest information we are waiting for lho..semoga what is given can be useful
success always everything.

obat tradisional maag akut
obat tradisional buah zakar bengkak
obat tradisional lutut kaku

 
At 7:37 AM, Blogger المتوكل على الله said...

افضل شركة رش مبيدات بالرياض
شركة رش دفان بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الفئران بالرياض
شركة مكافحة البق بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الوزغ بالرياض
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الصراصير بالرياض
شركة مكافحة النمل الاسود بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الثعابين بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الحمام بالرياض

 
At 12:18 AM, Blogger QnCmurah said...

The easiest way to be smart is to learn from the stupidest things you have ever done.

Tips Mencegah Hernia Sejak Dini
Cara Mengobati Jantung Berdebar Kencang
Cara Mengolah Bawang Putih Untuk Stroke Ringan
Cara Mendeteksi Kanker Serviks Dengan IVA

 
At 10:26 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

I am among the luckiest people to be able to find and enter your page, surely I have gained valuable experience after this.
Luka Lambung Pada Anak Kecil

 
At 4:10 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

thanks for information,,
Cara Mengatasi Osteopenia

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger Mahmoud Amin said...

تطبيق الفرنسي تداول للايفون المقدم من البنك السعودي الفرنسي كابيتال يضمن للمستثمرين القيام بعمليات التداول بكل سهولة

 

Post a Comment

<< Home


<